Apology Statement

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling an anxiety attack, my heart beating very fast, and I couldn't resist my compulsive behavior. My anxiety stems from a fear of losing control, to the point where I must constantly verify. Such verification (which may be experienced as doubt) has had a negative impact on myself and my loved ones, but whenever anxiety arises, it is difficult to complete the action of grounding emotions (the waves are so high). I even feel like I'm starting to get anxious about being anxious.

I am about to start apologizing, but this is not a one-sided conclusion forcing everyone to move on. Some things just happened, and some things can only be allowed to happen.

I mean relationships. You taught me that human relationships cannot be managed. Or maybe I already knew, and the result was finally being battered and bruised at this moment.

Actually, that's not it either. It's just that relationships between people are not controlled by anyone.

I asked Xinchi, "I always want to find an 'answer'—why does the other person hate me, why are we no longer as close?" Xinchi gave some very accurate (harsh) answers:

From cognitive psychology, you are experiencing "rumination"—like a cow repeatedly chewing its food, your brain is repeatedly chewing over the details of this relationship. This thinking pattern often stems from our brain mistakenly believing: as long as we find that "key answer," the pain will disappear. But in fact, changes in interpersonal relationships are rarely determined by a single factor.

From attachment theory, this behavior of persistently seeking answers may be a way for you to try to rebuild emotional connection. But we need to distinguish: Are you truly seeking understanding, or are you trying to regain a sense of control by "finding the answer"? Your conscientiousness score (0.7) shows that you have a high need for order and certainty, which may make you particularly uneasy when facing uncertainty in relationships.

Actually, so-called acceptance is accepting the uncertainty of the world. It is hard for people to predict and prepare for all possibilities; forcibly intervening will always encounter setbacks.

Of course, this is a process that takes time, to let go. You can use the "self-fulfilling prophecy" and often say "I can accept it."

Quoting an illustration from暂停实验室 (infringement deleted):